I’m in an old school frame of mind today. I’m blasting Mary J Blige’s “Whats The 411” cd, Mariah Carey’s “Emotions” and some Heavy D and the Boys while I clean house and pack boxes. Mary played a poignant role in my life doing the 90s, her songs were a mirror image of my emotions. Mariah was like a close girlfriend and Heavy D….well Heavy was just Heavy!!!
I can remember me and my BFF, Evangela, sitting on the patio of base housing in Germany on numerous payday Fridays drinking wine coolers and jamming to classic songs. Our kids were focused on Disney VHS tapes while we blasted“Love No Limit” and “You Remind Me” from the 3rd floor balcony… deciphering the words that Mary was singing…nodding our heads along with Mary as she poured out her soul. No one could pour out their soul like Mary when it came to love…
“Loving you…everyday…don’t you look no more, love without a limit!”
We were screaming, laughing and crying….all at the same time! Consoling each others love woes, complaining about our men and wishing we were anywhere but in Germany! Then after several more coolers and hours of music therapy, we would throw on some Oaktown 3-5-7 or Salt n Pepa and practice our dance moves… just because we were Divas!
Love had us on highs and lows….sometimes simultaneously, because love is a funny thing…it will have you all mixed up, confused and hopeless like a penny with a hole in it!
“I never wanna live without you babe…I wanna be your lady…I love you soooo…”
And then some lovesapped weakling goes and dedicates a whole day to it…like folks don’t get enough of it throughout the year!
So now we have Valentines Day on the calendar… it’s headed our way on Thursday. The day otherwise known as Single Awareness Day… because if you didn’t know it before now, you will definitely be fully aware of your singleness on Feb 14th!
Well if you do happen to be single this go around and have no Valentine…don’t feel bad! I saw several posts this week that blatantly reminded people that some folks don’t have Mothers on Mothers Day or Fathers on Fathers Day…so it is what it is…..
However, don’t think that loving yourself is not an option this week…hmmmmmm just think how easy it will be. You wont have to guess about the gift, wondering if it fits or if they will like it. You won’t have to ask friends, co workers and family secret questions to find out what they like, cause you just ran out of options and don’t know what you can get them..remember…they have everything already! You wont have to concentrate so hard on making it taste good and you definitely wont have to think about whether there are any ulterior motives to the gift…you know like if they are expecting something in return?
Best of all, you will NOT have to watch couples fabricate and pretend they really love and care about each other, when you know the real deal every other day of the week….
And if you’re having a hard Valentines Day this year…due to a failed relationship, etc…that is even more of a reason to celebrate. Throw on an ole school jam and reminisce…on the love you had… OR better yet, the one they lost out on…yeah they’ll be missing your gift this year…definitly!
But even after ALL that, guess what……..you will get over it…you’ll move on.. and who knows next year, you just might be one of those couples who can fabricate and pretend as well….
One thing is certain…you have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. Once you master self love, you are able to balance the leftover love…utilizing it wisely. Self Love helps you recognize exactly what you deserve…you wont be easily deceived into a relationship that isnt good for you! You won’t be quick to hand your heart over to someone who doesn’t meet your standards, simply because ‘its been awhile.’
This is my first Valentines Day without a Valentine and I’m a little excited….about taking myself on a date. I’m hyped about the gift I brought myself…because its exactly what I wanted and I love the fact that I’m finally getting EXACTLY what I wanted…..yeah I said it…
So here’s to Single Awareness Day… may it bring lots of love with no limits and plenty of after party dancing to Oaktown 3-5-7 and Salt n Pepa….then get over it and move on. Don’t let it pass you by because you are “feeling some kind of way.”
I’ll be at the spa getting a full pampering session, probably listening to some old school songs…then afterwards I’m hanging out at Red Lobster with some girlfriends who just like me are loving themselves that day.
Love can be overated…. but I like white chocolate covered strawberries…just in case.
“Loving you babe…loving you babe…love without a limit”
Peace, Love & Empowerment