What are little boys made of?


The first instant replay was recorded in Genesis! Genesis 1 gives us a play by play overview of the beginning of the world. In Genesis 2:4-8 God formed man, The Hebrew word for formed is the same word that is used of a potter forming and shaping clay. It suggests an artistic, inventive activity that requires skill and planning- a work that is done with great care and precision.

We can only imagine what it must have been like for God to take simple dust from the ground and to skillfully fashion it into man with countless atoms, cells, organs and complex intricate systems that mystify brilliant scientists.

Then lo and behold, God breathed his own breath into the form so that he became a living soul, a reflection of his own likeness!. He created him out of the dust of the ground, then placed him in the garden of Eden. The Hebrew word for garden indicates an enclosure, a plot of ground protected by a wall or hedge. This designated space was to be man’s new home, where he would be joined with a wife and start a family.

Later we see in Genesis 2, that when a man gets married, he leaves his family or origin, in order to initiate a new family unit. So when God put man in the garden, it appears God set the man up in his own place to be head of a new home.

The mans responsibility to leave and launch a new family unit indicates that taking initiative is at the core of what it means to be a man. God doesn’t want boys to remain boys. He wants them to become men. He wants them to grow up, leave their parents, launch out, start new households and become the men He created them to be.

From the man’s perspective: “Quality is the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something. Also meaning a distinctive attribute or characteristic possessed by someone or something.

There are many qualities that men possess and there are many qualities that are looked at in a man from a woman or anyone’s prospective. As it applies to women, A man’s qualities should compare to a woman’s father…. if the father was present in your life. He should display similar qualities.  Nevertheless, he should display Godly qualities. He cannot be measured from  TV or reality shows. He must be measured to the standards that were instilled in you as a child or from the example of a male figure from your childhood. Many woman and men try to compare their spouse or significant other to someone they know or some love story they have seen on TV or read in a book.

Even though, you may look for qualities that were displayed earlier in your life, the man should show qualities of a man after Gods heart. If he is doing this, he will do just as the word tells us in Genesis 2. When he marries, he will leave his family and build his own empire. He will lead his family with the guidance of God’s word!

Many woman make the mistake of comparing men to previous relationships or what their friends and family relationships look like. We are all different and women all look for different qualities in a man. Don’t miss the man that God has for you because you are comparing him to someone’s man. There are some women whose standards are lower than yours and their quality of men may not  meet your qualities.

Have you ever wondered if your qualities were to high for any man to meet and maybe this is why you are alone?

Look for the qualities that display a Godly man, qualities that he is seeking God for the relationship FIRST.  If his qualities look anything Godly, you are starting in the right place for a man with the qualities that will make you an excellent husband.”

Well there you have it! Its time to reevaluate your now and future relationships against the Godly measuring stick!

Love you my sisters




Avoiding Heartache 101….

meganlungdrenlmft_Horizontal_0002Monday ‘s  “31 Days of Estrogen” comes from a young gifted writer. She is like my second daughter and the  youngest of my contributors this month! I love her way with words and her insightful wisdom. Akaycia Diamond shares some heartfelt, mature words about relationships…. Thank you Kayci for lending your voice!

Avoiding Heartache 101

The brain is a funny organ—it locks in memories of repetition even when you try your best to forget. Often times we sink into this black hole with emotions in rotation. Its all good when it comes to books and studies, but what happens when memories of romance overflow into the space reserved for intellect?…you just turned on the wrong movie! You know how there can be an actor/actress’ character that gets on your nerves, but for some reason you are infatuated with their character. Its like they are a slice of white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory, 1200+ calories, but too juicy to resist.

I’ve found myself in a situation I know I can close the door on — well, until I open a new door and its in the same house. The front door entrance was clear as a bright summer day with a handle made of gold. Once I stepped into the house and closed the door, I realized the other side had no door knob. This man is so addicting. I mean my eye balls are covered with cataracts. Is there a medication out there to treat this misfortune? Seriously, I put forth quite an effort time again to let it go. Unfortunately, he has done his research on me and has a reaction equal and opposite of every action I take. Our relationship is science at its best — physics, anatomy and physiology, and the biology of the human body. You get where I’m going? Basically, its ok to enjoy the moments that take you away! Who’s to judge? Just understand what the experiences and the people in them mean to you.

Be selective with your escapades! I was told, “you don’t sleep with the person you like.” That statement has so much truth I. You will find yourself in a situation where your brain will go on vacation, since you ignored its attempts to send common sense through your blood stream. It happens too often where the sensors down below block the routes reserved for logical sensors. I can speak it because I’m living it! They say if you want to learn how to lose weight, ask an overweight person. Its the same concept. If you want to learn how to avoid an emotional roller coaster, seek advice from someone currently on the ride.

Know yourself, know your expectations, and KNOW what you are getting yourself into!

~Akaycia Diamond~

Akaycia is a first time Author! Purchase her book, A Diamond In The Rough”  on Amazon


Locked Love…

I am now a blogger for the Columbia, Irmo and UpState Patch! This is just one of the many blogs that I am doing in celebration of the beautiful scenery in the area. Please enjoy and post your thoughts!

I often awake at 5am to jog at the Lake Murray Dam in Lexington SC. Its a beautiful time of solace, just me, God and the shimmer of the lake’s ripples. Early before sunrise, the coolness of the day emits a surge through my body, which is beneficial in pushing my legs across the dam.  Much to my surprise, there are many others awake and alert at that time. Some are battling their exercise routine like myself, running in rhythm, jogging haphazardly and many choose to walk with their music in tow.

Every once in a while, I spot a couple whose quest is only to find a moment of silence, unrequited familiarity in the comfort of each others hand holding, whispers and eye gazes.  This morning, several couples were on that journey. I passed them as I jogged and they bid me good morning.

As I slowed down to walk across the bridge before my return home, I noticed the locks hung on the gates. Too many to name a definite number. Each one holding a message of love… It was interesting that although I have jogged this dam for a couple of years, the locks seemed to have increased over the past two months. Perhaps love is fleeting, or maybe it is becoming more paramount to attach a symbol to the burning desire within our heart.

I stopped to read several of them, thinking about the messengers. I wondered what part of the love journey they were on when they decided to leave a symbol of love locked to the Lake Murray Dam.

Some were simple hearts with names centered, while others were filled with messages, some of hope, several of despair. “I Love You’s” were intertwined with “Why’s?”  Many were messages to future loves. Questions unanswered, decisions still to be made…

All a part of the “Love” that we all go through, different stages, different places, different people, each moment seems like an eternity as we stand there.

I then realized that it really didn’t matter what part of the love journey they were on….only that they made the decision to solidify the moment, realize the change, recognize the reality and walk away….

Peace, Love & Empowerment



We Be The Women….

I guess I would be amiss iStrong-empowered-womenf I didn’t post something during this fabulous Women’s History Month! Since Virtuous Vibes is all about equipping, encouraging and empowering women!

Well since I’m full force in femininity every day, I will simply leave you with a piece I wrote, entitled “Women Rock.”  Truly we women, are some extraordinary creatures, emotionally charged and vision driven, full of spunk, sassiness and class….exhibiting bipolar symptoms at will.  Yes, we rock,,,simply because we BE….  Incredibly strong, opinionated and able to multi task efficiently!  Sometimes more than enough…yet we bounce back with more determination than ever! If you are a woman…embrace every moment of this journey, it won’t last forever……and if you happen to be someone with just one extraordinary woman in your life…..well simply be thankful…because that one is all you need…

My sister you rock,

we rock.

We are the silent warriors,

the ones who fight battles and wars with no swords or guns.

We gather our oils,

 fold our hands in prayer,

anoint our temples and scars and just rock,

back and forth in our prayer closets.

Rocking and mourning,

believing that just like our mothers before who weathered every storm,

just surely, surely one day we shall overcome.

So our hopes are built on our tomorrows,

our children become our martyrs.

We build them up

push them to the highest pinnacle of the mountaintop,

strap them with backpacks of courage and a prayer and command them to fly.

No matter what your destiny

you can’t keep it moving, if you’re just standing still.

So my sister this is your wake- up call,

your day of reckoning,

your revelation,

your revolution,

your evolution,

whatever you desire or deem it to be,

just don’t call it a comeback, because it was always meant to be.

I refuse, and I won’t let no rocks cry out for me,

 I don’t want anybody else  getting what rightfully belongs to me.

So I just continue to press,

press on towards the mark which God has placed before me.

 Because I am  a sister that rock,

you are a sister that rock.

Together we ride out the waves of iniquity,

we bounce back from adversity.

We stand tall against the winds of change and dare to be moved.

We don’t have time for tears, stress, strife or bitterness.

Because this war is not for the weak or weary,

the ill equipped,

or the sisters suffering from Post Traumatic Less Syndrome

You have to wake up every day with a prayer and a praise,

grab the hand of a sister and walk in God’s amazing grace.

Rock your way through your trials and tribulations,

grab your spiritual slingshot and slay all of your Goliaths.

Be it propped up,

tied up,

press your spirit and soul into the landing.

Whatever it is you have to do, just be the last one standing.

When all is said and done and the victory has been won,

you can put away your weapons of mass destruction.

Stand proudly before your  lineage and say…

I was that sister that rocked!

Find more of my feminist poetry in my collection “I Speak Female Poetically.”  Its available on Amazon for just $12.00 . Click the link at the top of this page….and to the right!

Peace Love & Empowerment


The men in my life…

1197125532348495319kumar35885_Male_Symbol_svg_hiSo I’ve been chatting with the men in my life…yes ALL the men in my life. I mean men like my father, my brother, close male friends and the list continues.  My conversation with my male friends have been informative, comical and entertaining.  Their opinions on women, children, love and life have been interesting, even when they are off the mark!

However, it is the men in my family who have been my role models. The ones who I watch and learn from. Over my 43 years, I have observed them grow through life…taking trials, tribulations and bruises. They have fallen and bounced back…and fallen …and bounced back again.

My father, my first love, has a different perspective on life. His ‘just do it” mentality has often found him in a difficult situations. Yet he eventually crawls back to the top. He has taught me that sometimes you must do what you have to do …and deal with the consequences later.  He is determined, yet stubborn,  temperamental, yet soft-hearted… comical, yet hard-headed and the death of my mother in 2006 is still fresh to him. He talks about her everyday, as if she transitioned yesterday. I can see a soft light in his eyes flicker and then lose its glow after the realization that she is no longer here materializes. It is a  love beyond the grave and he won’t be content until he sees her again.  I pray that someone loves me in that way, whether I am here or long gone…

My one and only brother has a vastly different approach on life. He waits patiently for it to bend to his whim, succumb to his desires. He often carries the weight of the world’s expectations on his broad shoulders, yet he is the epitome of professionalism. He works diligently to make a difference, waiting for the rest of the world to do their part.  At the ripe young age of 30, he is an old soul with a desire to see all at peace in the world….

Then there are my uncles, they are four different men who have four different outlooks on life . Their stories are remarkable and it is through them, I have compared my experiences with the male species along the way. The four brothers of my mother have given me an outlook that I am blessed to embrace.  I have observed them from a young girl and although I was young, I knew them, knew their lives, their loves and their secrets. I paid attention to how they responded and reacted to situations and circumstances and I took notes.

The oldest showed me what essential love looks like. A love that must be displayed, even when all is not right in your world. A love that never changes even when you are not being treated well. A love simply “because…..” He has raised two sons and others whose mothers claimed were his. As a single father, his journey has and still is not easy.  He is making it…with many prayers. He lovingly embraced a son who was not his own, yet he took on the role without a second thought. “Righting” the wrongs that perhaps he felt were of his own doing, not realizing that God’s plan was bigger than his own.  That same son, who was given to him to raise, like his siblings have made us all proud…we are all blessed to be privy to their accomplishments.

Then there is my  Uncle Mike, one who embraces life and makes the world turn on his axis. He does not succumb to the whims of anyone. Strong willed and grounded on every aspect of his life, unmovable it may seem, yet his heart is always on full. On the outside, he is solid, yet I believe that his private times are spent deep in thought on subjects that others are not aware of.  He cherishes his time and does what his heart desires, when the need arises.  From him, I have learned that time waits for no one or nothing… and ignoring foolish people and their antics keeps your blood pressure low!

My Uncle Dereyk is the most different, yet recently I realized that perhaps he is similar to me. He rarely shows up at family gatherings, yet when he does, I can see the nostalgic in his eyes. Sometimes a look of yearning or pain is evident. He dreams of moments past, places and times of long ago, people who held special places in his heart. I dare to say that he will always  be one who “wishes” for better days.  But whom of us does not long for a time when  life was just a little bit sweeter, I know I do everyday…

Finally , there is my Uncle Hank, the younger of the group, yet he is a free and a wise spirit. His journey has not been easy, but he has overcome…and still continues to do so daily.  His laughter and comical captions to life are what we all should be embracing…for even our tribulation has a funny side….we must just be able to find it.  Although he wishes that dear ones long gone could see the person he turned out to be. I dare to say they already knew the remarkable person inside, one who could beat the odds and win in the end.  My Uncle Hank, has taught me the most about life. Each time I see or hear from him , it gives me courage to stay focused on the journey.  He reminds me to stay seated and buckled in…even when the ride has stopped for you to exit at the rear..

These are just a few of the lessons I have learned, although I have many other men in my life,  these men make me the woman I am.  I am thankful they are still here…still able to be my role mentors…

Perhaps they were who I desired my own partner to be like. After 22 years of marriage, it failed due to many reasons …and I shared in the demise. This month, my life came full circle, I regained everything I lost along the three years of separation from my ex. Surprisingly, I did not think about the past….or wonder “what could have been.”  I was overjoyed and shared my testimony with the important people …which consisted of these particular men in my life.

It was then  I realized my ex never seemed to hit the mark. He was not the man who I hoped for and unfortunately it took me 22 years to figure it out or perhaps that long to walk away.

Maybe the bar was set too high from the beginning…

Peace, Love & Empowerment